Change is probably the most difficult thing a human does. Specifically, I mean changing behaviours. For years I have wanted to change the way I eat (reduce the 'excessiveness' of my eating) and change how I spend time (less unproductive, more outcome oriented). I believe I have developed a lifestyle that centers around health and wellness by being very active in exercise and eating healthy food, everything which my doctor said are the fundamentals to a quality life. Although I have those two criteria well integrated into my life regime, something had been missing. The whole time I struggled to feel the happiness, the balance, the feeling fulfillment I was supposed to receive when acting as a healthy person living a healthy lifestyle. I felt flashes of disappointment, frustration and blame on the self. I was missing something much more elemental and I couldn't bring myself to admit and face what it was until I walked on the Camino de Santiago. The 'thing' was emotional associations with these two criteria. Despite the knowledge of the many benefits eating healthy and exercising I still have negative attachments that impede me from feeling stress-free and liberated. I know that when I exercise I constantly look at the calories burned and wonder if it is "enough" relative to the calories consumed the day previous. I also think about how much I don't want to eat the bar of healthy dark chocolate in my cupboard but the thought alone drives me into the kitchen...and nothing can stop me from diving into other fun snacks nearby. Of course guilt and disappointment ensue and I think about what I need to add to my next workout. One should not think this way! Many people have this mentality and it can lead to very dangerous and destructive pathways. How do we change this? How do we disconnect the deep link between neurons that have for so long been best friends? I am aware of cognitive behavioural therapy and have used it in other areas of my life and received great benefit. If anyone out there is struggling with such an issue like this, have a look into CBT. Here is a quick link to CBT information. I know the changes I need to make. Now the hard part comes...actually changing! Wish me luck.
